Darling Daphne: My First (and Forever) Cat

Here’s the scoop:

• A cat with strong opinions and the world’s most memorable meow

• Photo shoots, Halloween costumes and her inner diva

• Remembering the quirks and comfort she brought

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There’s something unforgettable about the first pet you adopt as an adult. Not the family pet you grew up with or the one you "kind of" shared with your siblings, but the first one that’s yours. That was Daphne for me.

I had pets my whole life...dogs, cats, birds, fish...but when I struck out on my own, it was just me and Daphne. Two girls taking on the world together. She was the first cat I chose, the first one I cared for all by myself and the first one who curled up beside me night after night as I figured out how to be a grown-up.

She was more than a pet. She was my roommate, my sidekick, my quiet therapist who offered no advice but always showed up. If you’ve had a cat like that, you know what I mean.

The Best Kind of Company

Daphne was fluffy, white and gorgeous, but her meow was hilariously… not. You know that screechy noise from Dumb and Dumber? The “most annoying sound in the world”? Yeah. That was kind of her vibe. It caught people off guard, especially considering how regal she looked. But I loved that meow. It was part of her charm...unexpected, unapologetic and absolutely her own.

After a long day at work, she’d curl up with me on the couch for our favorite shows. She was the kind of cat who somehow knew when you were having a bad day. I’d sit there, feeling the weight of a hard moment, and there she was just quietly next to me. Present. Steady. Exactly what I needed.

And let’s not forget the photo shoots. Daphne modeled Christmas card outfits, Halloween tutus and posed for more glamour shots than I should probably admit. She was a trooper, and let me tell you, not all cats will tolerate a full holiday wardrobe. She did it with just the right amount of sass.

Queen of the Living Room

Daphne had a strong personality and she wasn't afraid to use it. When guests came over, she strutted into the center of the room like she owned the place (because, let’s be honest, she did). But if someone dared to reach out too quickly for a pet? She might swat. She might snap. She had boundaries and I respected that. If you wanted her affection, you had to earn your way into “the special club.”

My husband, bless him, took on the challenge like a knight wooing a very fluffy dragon. It took time, but eventually she let him in. Once she did, they had a beautiful bond. And in a funny twist, when we adopted Butabi, thinking he’d be the cat my husband bonded with, it actually flipped. Butabi ended up very bonded to me and Daphne bonded so much more with my husband! She kept us on our toes until the very end.

And yes, we added more cats over time. Ziggy, Lars, Zigrit...a full feline cast. Did Daphne love this? Most definitely not. But she had her own special way of tolerating them. Sometimes barely. But still.

Saying Goodbye

Daphne passed away in April of 2024. She lived a full life, but the end was hard. She developed Chronic Kidney Disease, which, as many of you know, is a brutal journey to walk through. There’s so much more I could say about that part of the story and maybe someday I will. But right now, I just want to hold space for the cat she was.

She was my “firstborn” in that adoptive cat-mom kind of way. The one who taught me what it means to love a pet not just in the joyful, cozy moments, but in the really hard ones too. She will always be a part of my life.

For Anyone Missing a Pet Today

If you’ve lost a beloved pet, my heart is with you. I know how deep that ache runs. I know how long it can linger. And if you’ve cared for a cat through Chronic Kidney Disease, I see the toll it takes...emotionally, physically, financially. The second-guessing. The “Am I doing enough?” The feeling of helplessness when things aren’t improving. It’s a journey that demands everything from you.

So let me say this, as clearly as I can:

You are doing better than you think.Your love is making a difference, even when the outcome isn’t what you hoped.You’re not alone. And your pet? They feel your love in every quiet act of care.

Daphne knew she was loved. I believe that with all my heart. And if you're in the thick of it right now...with illness, or aging, or grief...I hope you’ll hold on to that truth too.

Thanks for letting me share her with you.

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Takeaway Treats:

• First feline friends leave paw prints on your adult heart forever

• Funny, quirky traits, like that crazy meow, become sweet memories you’ll treasure

• Trust, once earned, is pure warmth...especially from the most regal of souls